~ Edgar Allan Poe (via the-beauty-in-chaos-quotes)
the fact that i have to choose between my grades and my own mental and physical health is really fucked up
i feel sooooo confused about what i look like? am i fat am i skinny and i pretty or ugly i literally CAN’T TELL AT ALL. how i feel about my looks changes on a min to min basis and is mostly affected by my mood i am so confused what the HECK do i actually look like to u people. i feel like an alien in my body
I think I haven’t stopped posting just because I’m drunk.
However I feel excluded and like shit and every single time I get drunk I want to be that happy, giggly drunk but I never am because I just feel so alienated all the time and I don’t know why.,. I hate this and I wish I could feel better by restricting/cutting/purging/some stupid coping methof that I know better to do bc lol recovery and I mean it and I’ve do r well with it bc lol I eat what I want now and don’t get me wrong it’s great and I don’t have to deal with friend emotional shit as much but I still feel so left out and shit and I really really wish that I could still b thin and attractive.
I love good beer. Right now I’m drinking shitty beer and am slightly drunk.
All I want tonight is a casual hookup, but beer makes me fat. Lol everything makes me fat. Sometimes (key word sometimes, meaning when I’m sad and down) I miss my eating disorder. (For completely vain and stupid reasons.). Because the whole thing is stupid.
~ me in 2009/2012/this time last year/a minute ago/next year probably (via betaqueer)
I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise.
And then i assume that they are lying to make fun of me
Igor Gulyaev S/S 2014, Russia Fashion Week
Grand Central Station, NYC, 1941. The light does not stream in like this anymore because the buildings around the station are too tall.
Valentino spring 2013 rtw details
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